When on the field, every player has an opportunity to make split second decisions regarding their positioning, what to do with the ball, when to lead and when to follow. For the best players on the best teams, these decisions become second nature; an automated response and instinct as to what's happening on the field. For the absolute cream at the top, there is a 6th sense about their actions, putting them ahead of the opportunity, like the great chess players they see the game 3-4 moves ahead of everyone else. In those instances, fear and hesitation give way to the automatic response of their own bodies-they move without forethought play by play and get the ball down the field and across the try line.
Kickers face a unique perspective. The game clock is still ticking but when facing the ball on the tee and taking that deep breath, lining up their shot and performing their paced ritual, there isn't the same pressure of tacklers, blocked kicks and fumbles. These are the moments a kicker faces alone. As they put out their hand and step into the kick, while their team is there in spirit, they are alone with their thoughts and confidence that the ball will go exactly where intended.
We face the same situations in our daily lives. In the hectic day to day, we know how to move around and field our positions, we know who's at our right and left, we know where the ball is coming from and exactly how to put it where we want it to go. Is this something we can handle or something we have to hand off? In our respective lives, we know these situations and how to respond instinctively.
But what happens to you mentally when suddenly you feel yourself in the role of the kicker. Something has happened to stop the game and provide you with the opportunity to catch up, lengthen the lead, take the lead or even win the game. You face that moment with your supporters and team mates feeling the pressure with you and at your back, but you are the one who has to kick the ball alone.
That's the type of position I find myself in--on one knee trying to line up the ball at an odd angle to the posts I've never kicked before. I've made many more than my fair share of these kicks through the posts and as much as I've prepared myself mentally and in practice, I've just never kicked from this angle. Curiously, I find myself feeling something I've never felt in this situation, a little afraid. I'd much rather it not be such a game changing kick. I'd rather it not be against this team. And I'd really rather the clock just be stopped for five minutes while I take a shot of whiskey. I know traditionally my mind and body respond like I'm a Wilkinson/Halfpenny at times like these, but damn is this what Priestland felt like? Holy crap I'm sympathetic now.
I look at my teammates and I see no worries. Their advice is just "put it through like you have a thousand times before. It will go between the posts and we'll win this challenge before us." On the sidelines, our supporters echo the same sentiments. The problem is none of these people are in my head standing between me and my inner idiot who says, "maybe someone else should take this kick, maybe the Captain should have called for a scrum instead". We've all faced that inner idiot before; usually our lives, like the game, just moves too fast for us to have that conversation--that voice is drowned out by our confidence, instinct and experience. Looking at my team again, my only hope is that I don't let them down--this is a game changer. This one puts us on the map, sends us to Nationals, World Cup semis here we come.... Yeah guys, I know the clock is ticking, but seriously I wanna make sure this is lined up right. And if I miss it, are we still going for burgers and beer after? Of course we are. But am I still going to be the go-to (wo)man in this situation?
I'm certainly not going to photograph kickers the same way again. I have been critical of kickers in the past--very critical at times. And I know I'm gonna be critical of kickers in the future. But maybe, next time, I'm just gonna criticize their inner idiot. And everywhere I can I'm gonna stand between them and that little voice.
In the meantime...in my world, my Vice Captain is giving me that look. Ball is set, one deep breathe, four steps back to the left, hunch down, fists to prayer. Look at the ball, look at the posts, look at the ball, look at the posts. Left arm out, step into it and....could someone streak across the pitch about now and distract everybody?
Kickers face a unique perspective. The game clock is still ticking but when facing the ball on the tee and taking that deep breath, lining up their shot and performing their paced ritual, there isn't the same pressure of tacklers, blocked kicks and fumbles. These are the moments a kicker faces alone. As they put out their hand and step into the kick, while their team is there in spirit, they are alone with their thoughts and confidence that the ball will go exactly where intended.
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| SMRC Lady Dolphin Ann Leese |
But what happens to you mentally when suddenly you feel yourself in the role of the kicker. Something has happened to stop the game and provide you with the opportunity to catch up, lengthen the lead, take the lead or even win the game. You face that moment with your supporters and team mates feeling the pressure with you and at your back, but you are the one who has to kick the ball alone.
That's the type of position I find myself in--on one knee trying to line up the ball at an odd angle to the posts I've never kicked before. I've made many more than my fair share of these kicks through the posts and as much as I've prepared myself mentally and in practice, I've just never kicked from this angle. Curiously, I find myself feeling something I've never felt in this situation, a little afraid. I'd much rather it not be such a game changing kick. I'd rather it not be against this team. And I'd really rather the clock just be stopped for five minutes while I take a shot of whiskey. I know traditionally my mind and body respond like I'm a Wilkinson/Halfpenny at times like these, but damn is this what Priestland felt like? Holy crap I'm sympathetic now.
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| USA Eagles Chris Biller v Ireland June 2013 |
I'm certainly not going to photograph kickers the same way again. I have been critical of kickers in the past--very critical at times. And I know I'm gonna be critical of kickers in the future. But maybe, next time, I'm just gonna criticize their inner idiot. And everywhere I can I'm gonna stand between them and that little voice.
In the meantime...in my world, my Vice Captain is giving me that look. Ball is set, one deep breathe, four steps back to the left, hunch down, fists to prayer. Look at the ball, look at the posts, look at the ball, look at the posts. Left arm out, step into it and....could someone streak across the pitch about now and distract everybody?
